Friday, 13 November 2009

One for the Weekend

Now this ancient idea is stolen off other people who stole it off other people, as encouragement for folk to feel confident about dipping a toe into the hot waters of commenting, I’m going to introduce One for the weekend. Don’t worry it’ll last two weeks as it needs a touch of preparation.

The idea is, one of us rambles on about some nonsense or other that has happened that week or is about to happen and then asks some astute questions. Any passing drunk over the weekend can then add slurred and hopefully splendidly funny answers. Inevitably a couple of rules need introducing just so they can be dashed on the rocks immediately.

Firstly please sign in or at least sign your name at the end of the reposte,

Secondly its compulsory to post your response to the questions BEFORE commenting on the previous works of genius. And finally don’t be a knob or be mean.

So having had my bout of pig flu and given my dollops of blood for checking I’ve had the all clear, with a bonus sticker of ‘your liver count is a bit lively’. Last time this happened about 2 years ago I got completely shedded at a Christmas party and made it home about 1pm the next day. This time I thought great, virus gone feeling sparky a bit of Big Picture wouldn’t go amiss. It’s hardly my fault that the drinking party Gods have conspired to fill my next 6 days and nights with temptation.

So the last two nights have been Beechy stays over and that’s always bad for booze, followed by a 5pm start for a gig at The Roxy last night. And so in my woozy state I’m going to publish this before I head off for a works team drinking party in Knutsford. Then my folks arrive for 2 days and my dads never been shy of a pint and then Monday and Tuesday night are ‘out on pre Christmas business’.

If everything gets a bit disjointed in these parts you’ll now understand why.

And so to the first Four for the weekend

1) Your greatest drunken party moment?

2) The funniest thing that’s ever happened at a house party you attended

3) Best place you’ve fallen asleep or woke up after drinking

4) Favourite comfort food for hangovers?

That’s an easy start to proceedings and I’m counting on the usual suspects to kick this off, but anyone else should feel free to pitch in.

It’s nice to know you’re there.


  1. 1)I believe there is a video in existence of my doing some sort of rap face off dance against a colleague at a Christmas party....not pretty. And yes whatever the fee is to get the original then I'll pay.

    2)I think the pissed dog was the funniest thing I ever saw

    3) Under a bed with a couple of hundred quid in my pocket which hadn't been there the night before. I had no idea where the bed was or who might be sleeping in it.

    4)Full self serve English Breakfast preferably in a hotel so you can stodge overload.

    See thats easy

  2. I think you need to think of an easier one next time.

    1) I'm sure I will have had loads of drunken party moments, but I cant recall anything memorable. I'm usually asleep by the time people set fire to the dwarfs.

    2) Same with this one. Cant think of anything funny.

    3) I woke up under a table in a pub the following morning once. My hair and shirt were soaking wet as I'd been wearing a champagne bucket as a top hat.

    4) I just eat all day when I have a hangover, generally petrol station pasties.

  3. I could answer loads for you, lets start with the cleaner waking you up in the nightclub toilet!

  4. About ten years ago, I was lucky enough to wake up fully clothed, sat bolt upright in a bath full of freezing water after a terrible night on the ale. This was the start of my drunken sleepwalking, which still plagues me today....

  5. I dont know if this counts as sleepwalking or not, but a friend of mine returned from the pub in quite a state, went to bed and then shortly after got up again, went into his parents bedroom and urinated in the wardrobe.

    They were sat up in bed, reading at the time. In a remarkable show of consideration they chose not to wake him as they had read somewhere that this could be dangerous to sleepwalkers. When he had finished, he shook off the last drops on to their Sunday best, wished them Good Night and went back to bed.

    I'm told that they did mention it the following morning, however.

  6. Tell us some other things your "friend" has done.

  7. Other entries into the sleepwalking book include getting into a spare bed, and managing to put an ironing board on top of myself whilst in the bed, which i think is quite impressive. Also I have been possesed by the demon of sleep urination, been found in the kitchen holding a pen (for no reason) and once even attampted to get into a wardrobe. I also apparantly have spoken utter jibberish on several sleepwalking adventures, though this probably doesnt differ that much from the norm......

  8. Ottomans have lids suspiciously reminiscent of toilet lids. If anyone asks it wasn't me

  9. It was on a birthday party and I did not know half of the people.I remember the wine was excellent, but I do not remember that I told apparently a few people that I just published book called Psyche and Light. It seemed I convinced a whole crowed so well that they rang up my friend the next day and asked her where they can buy the book or if she has a copy...and she said to me "you better write the book now", but I have no clue what the book is about

  10. I can't remember anything funny. I drink, I smile, I go to bed.

  11. Can't we have easier questions?

    Like: which would win in a fight between a Baboon and a Badger?

  12. A baboon they drive cars

  13. Is it just a fist fight? Assuming that is that badgers have fists. If any weapons are involved then you would have to back the monkey whether its swords, baseball bats or guns. Even stuff like hand grenades are going to play to the strengths of the primate.

    I would say the badgers only hope is to play the long game and stage the fight in a TB Sanitorium.

  14. The badger could just wait for the monkey to get tired and sneak up on it during the night. Although if it were badgerwatch week on the tv millions of people would probably shout 'there's the badger' and therefore alert the monkey.

    Monkeyboy to win

  15. 1) Spending an afternoon drinking Blue label Smirnoff at Andrew Armstrong's house, passing out and puking over his parent's prize Persian rugs, as well as all over myself.

    2) (Only funny for everybody else) the same party as 1), Thomas Armstrong (elder brother) returned to find myself, his brother Andrew and Alex Tenholter all unconscious. Having discovered my ability with projectile vomiting, he decided to punish me by stripping me naked, leaning me up against a post in the front drive and showering me with the garden hose. He, apparently, failed to notice as I slid down the post and keeled over, smacking my forehead against the concrete.

    3) At the same party as 1) and 2), I was disturbed by a now conscious Andrew Armstrong at 5 in the morning, as I slept, in what can only be described as the "Squat" position, in the bathroom. I think maybe I went for the "Foetal" position after all the recent turmoil, but was too drunk to perfect it.

    4) Easy one- Oggy Oggy Giant Steak Pasty and a pint of Guinness.

  16. Badgers are tough. And they have big claws.

  17. Yes, I'm going for the Badger too. They've got sharp teeth.