Guest Review - MOTIVATION A LA FISH

This week I had a memorable or absurd experience. Our office was sent off to a workshop called “Motivation a la fish” and yes, it was fishy.

The coaches of this course were Dutch and we were divided in three groups :

First group was for the German speaking, second for the French speaking and third for the English speaking. It seemed someone pulled for me the lucky card, because I was in the English group as only one with the management. Great – just great – I tried to switch into another group inconspicuously of course by walking and speaking with the Frenchs, but well it was noted and the big boss called me back “ You are with us. Come on, that will be a really fun”. Shit, I thought and again shit …

Our coach for the English group introduced herself with a singing “Good Morning, I am Marlene and I will lead you through this fantastic day” – I think, she was half stoned and forgot to put real clothes on when she left her hotel room as she was dressed like a very old cowboy girl with white cowboy shoes and a strange brown skirt.

I won`t mention the top now that would go beyond the scope ….

After sticking our name tags on our breasts and introducing ourselves, we started with the first motivation game: Running around the room and trying to hit the other person with a balloon on the head. I had to ask her again: “Sorry, what shall we do?” and then she said to me:” Yes, you are a bit scared now, but do not worry it will help you with your motivation”

Well, she was really stoned and I thought, alright I have the permission to hit someone from the management on their heads. I had such an experience before in school. We played football teacher against pupils and what happened was by accident and it was really an accident I tripped my art teacher up. He fell so badly on his big belly that he had to leave the field. Well, I got a lot of applause and later a beer, but my next art mark suffered after that.

Well,Marlene turned on the music a bloody Britney Spears song “ do it one more time ” or so . and then shouting happily into the room “Let´s go and run”. I just stood up and didn`t move with my green balloon , because this was insane. Of course, Marlene came up to me and said I should join in and not to be scared. Yes, dead right I was scared of her and her stupid games.

Cowboy and Indians

Next task was to build little groups and find key words for choose your attitude, be there, play and the other one I forgot…it was something with to be focused on …

Took all groups nearly an hour to find words put them in order and discuss it – my motivation after this – please let me go home now!

Suddenly Marlene clapped her hands and said:,Come on all outside we have a little surprise for you!” Brilliant, probably we are playing hide – and seek and I just can disappear – super, now I felt a bit motivated,but this only lasted a second as it turned out we all had to come together for a group pic. Oh, God, this as well….and I had to stand in the front of all with a big fish in my hands…I tried to cover my face with the fish, but without success they waited for me until I was in the right position.

The resumé: I cannot recommend it at all – didn`t motivate me – I was very tired after it– even my son said to me: You look a bit sick, this training day wasn`t good for you, Mama! – a nice try

A training day with David Brent is more likely to work

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You know what I mean